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For some lucky women getting pregnant is easy. They can drink heavily, eat junk food, and have sex once two days before their period is due and wind up having a fifth child. For those of us taking the scenic route to our baby, there comes a time when you do everything you can to ensure conception. Whether you are just starting to try to conceive, or if you are battling a diagnosis of infertility, these evidence-based tips will help you maximize your chances of getting pregnant! They helped me have my miracle child, and I hope they help you too!
- Have sex daily. Have sex once a day for every day you’re not menstruating. Seriously. Research shows it optimizes chances for conception, you’ll feel great, get endorphins, be energized, bond with your spouse, and never ever miss ovulation. It is a win-win-win decision.
- Make sure he enjoys himself. Evidence suggests that the more aroused your partner is and the longer his state of sexual arousal, the higher the amount of healthy sperm he ejaculates.
- Enjoy the morning. Have sex first thing in the morning-research show sperm counts are slightly higher in the morning. So take advantage of his natural state upon, ahem, arousal.
- Avoid anal sex all the time while trying to conceive. The bacteria possibly transferred from anal sex can create long-term low lying infections that prevent conception.
- Avoid oral sex during your fertile time. Saliva is detrimental to sperm. If you want to engage in oral sex, do it at the beginning and end of your cycle, so it is less likely to be during your most fertile days.
- Use fertility-friendly lubricants. Go ahead and use lube- it helps everyone enjoy the whole experience a lot more! But absolutely no KY, no Astroglide, or other traditional lubricants which are terrible for sperm. Stick with a fertility enhancing lube like or something from the kitchen like organic extra virgin coconut oil (that stuff is great!). Be aware that although sperm-friendly Pre-Seed does the best in clinical tests, it has some gross toxins like parabens, so stick with the coconut oil when possible! We use this one because it comes in a glass jar. Some people swear by the non-toxic Yes Baby organic lubricant, and their product does look really great. The problem for me is that I just can’t handle the little insert packs, and prefer to apply a small amount of lube with my hand. If you’ve tried Yes Baby and loved it, leave a comment below!
- Make gravity your friend. Around your most fertile time finish sex with positions that utilize gravity to ensure that the sperm are deposited as close to your cervix as possible. Variations on missionary and doggy-style are recommended. Avoid woman on top for his final ejaculation. Unsurprisingly there have been no studies that video tape couples having sex and then use an ultrasound to see where the sperm were deposited, so this is less evidence based, and more common sense.
- Cuddle afterward (or just relax lying down) for 30 minutes. Again, no super-awkward studies have been conducted on this but snuggling your guy and lying around afterward is definitely good for the soul and bonus- those little sperm won’t have to fight gravity. Tell your husband the internet said a minimum of five minutes lying down afterwards is required (plenty of time for the sperm to get where they need to be), but that up to 30 minutes is best. That way if you have to pee after five minutes you can get up and he won’t be worried, but if you want to just lay around and read a book while your husband does the dishes you’ll have a good excuse.
- Have an orgasm. Evidence shows that women who orgasm between one minute before the male orgasm, or up to 45 minutes after the male orgasm had higher retention of sperm than those who did not orgasm or who orgasmed more than one minute before their partner. It is thought that the reason why is that during the female orgasm uterine contractions help to move the sperm up into the uterus and the fallopian tubes. If you have a hard time orgasming and trying to have one makes you stressed, buy yourself a vibrator. Then, you can have an orgasm every time and the pressure is off your partner. Vibrators don’t damage fertility as long as everything is kept clean (use a non-toxic soap!). If you are scared to go into a sex shop to pick one out (and I would be terrified to google “best vibrator” personally), just get my favorite from Amazon. It’s small, discreet, non-threatening, very quiet, and has a low but adjustable vibe. I’m not sure why it has low Amazon reviews- I’ve loved it for six years and never had to replace it. Of course- don’t worry if you don’t orgasm every time- it isn’t a big deal. Those sperm know where to go!
- Mix it up. There is no special “baby-making sex.” Sometimes sex becomes stressful when trying to conceive because we think everything has to be candles, romance, and sweet-missionary style love-making. Candles and romance are not required- unless they are your preference! Enjoy sex, and enjoy each other. Talk to each other about your fantasies, and try different kinds of foreplay, sex positions, and different locations.